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Notice on entry gate of a Apple Store:
Don't ever fart here;
the smell will stay for ages.
We don't have Windows.
And a Tit for Tat from Microsoft in their premises.
Anyone visiting us here can be free to use Windows in case you need to release stale gas from yesterday's half eaten apple.
We have been providing open window system to the world since age





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India-Pak Cricket Match
Scene: Surjit is watching cricket match of India vs. Pakistan. Chetan is bowling and Javed is batting. Pakistan needs 24 runs in 4 balls.

Surjit: Rabert, Jao Aur Chetan Se Kaho Ki Ek Khatarnak Bouncer Daal De Aur Javed Ko Out Kar De.

Robert: Ok boss!

Robert Jaata Hai Aur Surjit Ka message De Deta Hai. Chetan nods and bowls a bouncer but Javed hits it for a six!

Surjit: Rabert, Ab Chetan Se Kehna Ek Tez Sa Yorker Daal De Aur Javed Kaa Kaam Tamam Kar De.

Robert: Ok boss!!

He goes again and Surjit Ka message Chetan Ko De Deta Hai. Chetan nods and bowls yorker but Javed hits it for a six again. Now there are two balls and 12 runs.

Surjit: Rabert Ab Chetan Se Jaake Kehna Ek Khatarnak Out Swinger Daal De Aur Javed Ko Catch Out Karwa De.

Robert: Ok boss!!!

He goes to Chetan and tells him to bowl an Out Swinger. Chetan nods and bowls an out swinger but Javed again hits it for a six again. Now just one ball and six runs to win.

Robert: Boss, Ab Chetan Ji Se Kya Kehna Hai?

Surjit: Ab Chetan Se Kuch Mat Kehna. Is Baar Javed Ke Paas Jao Aur Kaho Ki Uski Maa Aur Beewi Hamare Kabje Mein Hai!

SHARING = CARING
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#HelloFriendz J


During the class the all the students of Bablu’s class was disturbing and was playing in the class. Seeing the messed condition of the class, the teacher was furious and caught Bablu, as he was the most notorious boy in the class. Before punishing him she wanted to ask his a question, if he could not answer it rightly then she could punish him hard.
Teacher: What is the name of the capital city of Punjab?

Bablu: Amritsar.

Teacher: Bablu, you are wrong, you need to focus more on your studies.

Bablu: Please madam, can I ask you a few questions.

Teacher: Yes, go ahead.

Bablu: Do you know Jeeto ?

Teacher: No.

Bablu: Do you know Preeto ?

Teacher: No.

Bablu: Do you know Banto?

Teacher: (Angry) Hell no! Who are all these people and why do you ask ?

Bablu: Teacher, you need to Focus more on your husband.


SHARING = CARING
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A lady lost her handbag in the bustle of shopping. Bablu  went running to find out the lady and returned it to her.

Looking in her purse, she said, "Well.... That's funny and strange at the same time. When I lost my bag there was a 500 rupee note in it. Now there are ten 50 rupee notes."


Bablu quickly replied, "That's right, madam. The last time I found a lady's purse, she didn't have any change for a reward."


SHARING = CARING
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A kindergarten teacher handed out a coloring page to her class.

On it was a picture of a duck holding an umbrella. The teacher told her class to color the duck in yellow and the umbrella green, however, Bablu, the class rebel, colored the duck in a bright fire truck red.

After seeing this, the teacher asked him, "Bablu, how many times have you seen a red duck?"

Young Bablu replied with, "The same number of times I've seen a duck holding an umbrella."


SHARING = CARING
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#HelloFriendz :)




A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of blood.


Trying to make the matter clearer, he said, "Now class, if I stood on my head, the blood as you know, would run into it and I should turn red in the face."

"Yes, sir," the class said.

"Then why is it that while I am standing upright in an ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?"

Bablu shouted, "Cause your feet ain't empty."









SHARING = CARING

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A farmer was driving along the road with a load of manure.

Little boy, Bablu, playing in front of his house, saw him and called, "What've you got in your truck?"

"Manure," the farmer replied.

"What are you going to do with it?" asked Bablu.

"Put it on strawberries," answered the farmer.

"You ought to live here," Bablu advised him. "We put sugar and cream on ours.





SHARING = CARING
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#HelloFriendz :)


moon

One day a Professor was talking about marriage in the class.

Professor: What kind of Wife would you like Bablu?
Bablu: I would want a wife like the moon.
Professor: Wow !!! What a choice... So you want her to be Cool & Calm like the moon?
Bablu: No, no...
Professor: Oh, so you want her to be Round and white?
Bablu: No, no...
Professor: Oh, so you want her to be Fair and Beautiful like the moon?
Bablu: No, no... I want her to be Exactly like The MOON. Just Arrive at Night and Disappear in the Morning.
Professor fainted...


fainted


SHARING = CARING
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Teacher: If I gave you 2 rabbits, and another 2 rabbits and another 2, how many will you have?

Bablu: Seven Sir.

Teacher: No, listen carefully. If I gave you 2 rabbits, and another 2rabbits and another 2, how many will you have?

Bablu: Seven.

Teacher: Let me put it to you differently. If I gave you 2 apples, and another apples and another 2, how many will you have?

Bablu: Six.

Teacher: Good. Now if I gave you 2 rabbits, and another 2 rabbits and another 2, how many will you have?

Bablu: Seven!

Teacher: Where do you get seven from?

Bablu: Because I've already got one at home.

SHARING = CARING
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#HelloFriendz :)

Bablu failed in the final Law Exam & decided to make a deal with the Professor.
Bablu: Sir, Can I ask you one question?
Professor: Yes.
Bablu: If you can answer this question, I will accept my final marks, if you cant, you will have to give me an "A" grading.
Professor agreed.
Bablu asked: What is legal but not logical, logical but not legal & neither legal nor logical?
Even after some long and hard consideration, the professor cannot give The student an answer, and therefore changes his exam mark into an "A", as agreed.


The following day, Professor asked same question to his students. He was shocked when all of them raised their hands......He asked one student. 

student in class

The student answered:Sir, you are 65, married to a 28 yrs old woman, this is legal but not logical. Your wife, is having an affair with a 23 year old boy, this is logical but not legal. Your wife's boyfriend has failed in his exam and yet you have given him an "A", this is neither logical nor legal

SHARING = CARING
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#HelloFriendz :)

Bablu met up with his close friend Piku and told him that he had just met the girl of his dreams. He asked Piku for advise on how he should proceed!
The wise and experienced man of the world, Piku said, "Well, send her roses, and on the name card invite her for a home-cooked meal."
Bablu liked the idea, so he followed Piku’s advice and invited the woman. Next day after the dinner Bunty called Pappu and asked him how did the home-cooked dinner go.
Bablu cried, "It was a complete flop."
Piku asked, "Why? Didn't the girl come to your house?"
Bablu replied, "She came, but she refused to cook and left angrily!"

SHARING = CARING
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#HelloFriendz :)

With a lot of fast pacing heartbeats, students are anxiously waiting for their board exams results to be out in a while. But fret not, Vir Das is a delightful man. Its not to long ago, he had posted a pictures of his young self as inspiration to all the kids taking board exam. And now he has a perfect message in a video for you all that he has shared . This one moment defines your life, usually termed at the first milestone. Children these days are under a lot of scrutinity but what we forget is life is beyond those grades and placement packages. The numbers shape up your life and helps you win the rat-race. But hold on, think for a moment, is it all worth it? Does low marks mean the end of your career or end of your struggle?

SHARING = CARING
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Love Care Share 
we believe in sharing, because sharing = caring. 




Bablu rings a call centre and complaining about his Internet.

TringTringTringTringTring Bablu: My internet is not working properly. Officer: Ok, Double click on "My computer" Bablu: I can't see your computer. Officer: No no, click on "My computer" on your computer. Bablu: How can I click on your computer from my computer? Officer: Listen, There is an icon labelled "My Computer" on your computer. Ok double click on it. Bablu: What the hell, what is your computer doing on my computer..? Officer: Double click on your computer. Bablu: On which Icon I've to click. Officer: My Computer. Bablu: Oh you fool...... Tell me where is your office. I'll come there and click on your "Computer."?

B


SHARING = CARING
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because sharing = caring. 





#HelloFriendz :)

Tonny complained to a doctor that he wetted his bed every night.
"Before it happens, do you see any dreams?" the doctor asked.
"Yes, doctor. Usually I see a dream in which a small demon comes and says, 'Let's pee'."

"OK," the doctor said. "Next time you see the demon, say, No, we've already peed."
Next time Tonny came to the doctor, the latter asked, "So, did you do as I said?"
"Yes, I did."
"Did it help?"
"No, doctor. Only, it made the matter worse."
"How?"
"As I said 'We've already peed,' the demon nodded and said, 'Then, let's shit a little.'"

SHARING = CARING
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because sharing = caring. 




Once upon a time a small boy named Hamid lived in a tiny Moroccan village. All his classmates hated him for his stupidity especially his teacher who was always yelling at him, .........."You are driving me crazy Hamid!!!"
One day his mother went to check out how he is doing at school and the teacher told her honestly that her son is simply a disaster, getting very low marks and never had she seen such a dumb boy in her whole career. The mother could not accept such a feed back and she took her son out from that schoo. she even shifted to another city.
25 years later, that teacher got a cardiac disorder and all the doctors have advised her to go for an open heart operation which only one surgeon could perform. Left with no other choice she did it and the surgery was successful. When she opened her eyes, she saw a handsome doctor smiling to her, being under anesthesia effect, she wanted to thank him but could not talk, in turn, he was staring at her face which started turning blue, she was raising her hand trying to tell him something but in vain and eventually died.
The doctor was shocked and was trying to understand what just happened, till he turned back and saw our friend Hamid working as a cleaner in that hospital who unplugged the ventilator to connect his vacuum cleaner.
Don't tell that you were thinking that Hamid became a doctor...lol.
SHARING = CARING
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#HelloFriendz :)

Tenny was sharing his experience at a bar in Patiala where he meet some American tourists .
One of the Americans said, in a loud voice, "I heard people in Punjab think they are  great drinkers. I bet $5,000 that no-one here can drink 3 bottles of Jack Daniels in 10 minutes."
The bar was silent, the American noticed Tonny leaving, no-one took up the bet. 20 minutes later who left returned and said, "Hey Yank, is your bet still on?"
"Sure," said the American, "3 JD in 10 minutes for a bet of $5,000."
"Great...," replied Tenny, "so pour the whisky and start the clock."
It was very close but the last drop was consumed with 2 seconds to spare.
"OK Yank, pay up." said Tenny.

"I'm happy to pay, here's your money" said the American. "But tells me, when I first offered the wager I saw you leave. Where did you go?"
"Well sir," replied Tenny, "$5,000 is a lot of money to a man like me, so I went to the pub across the road to see if I could do it !And by the way I'm not Punjabi..........First of all I'mINDIAN and I was born in West Bengal 


SHARING = CARING

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#HelloFriendz :)



The World is fighting for Crude Oil under soil but never thought of the solar energy over the soil. Its free and easily convertible power. How easily tasty food can be cooked and energy can be saved. Just by saving energy by using solar power the World can rest in peace.

Save Energy and Enjoy Summer.

SHARING = CARING
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#HelloFriendz :)

Tonny and the local priest were always fighting and arguing, and eventually they finished up in court.
After listening to evidence from bath sides, the magistrate said, "I feel sure that this can be settled amicably. Shake hands with each other, and say something for good will."
The priest shook Tonny’s hand and said, "I wish for you what you wish for me."
"See, Your Honour," said Tonny

"HE'S STARTING AGAIN."

SHARING = CARING
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#HelloFriendz :)


Tonny: You've got to fix my computer. I urgently need to print a document, but the computer won't boot properly.

Tech Support: What does it say ?

Tonny: Something about an error and non-system disk.

Tech Support: Look at your machine. Is there a floppy inside?

Tonny: No, but there's a sticker saying there's an Intel inside. How do I get that one out ?

Tech Support: It's actually fairly easy if you had the IQ upgraded lately. Have you had that done?

Tonny: No, I don't think so. I'm always one of the last to get the new stuff.

Tech Support: OK, then go tell your manager that I said you qualify for an IQ upgrade.




SHARING = CARING
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#HelloFriendz :)
Tonny had a bull that he was quite proud of. One day he looked at the bull and noticed his eyes were crossed. That was disconcerting, because he knew he couldn't get huge stud fees for a defective bull. He called the local vet who came right over. The vet assured him he could solve the problem.
"Tonny, you stand in front of the bull and watch his eyes. I will insert this straw into the bull's rectum and blow. When the eyes uncross, yell stop."
The vet did just that, and sure enough after a few minutes of blowing, the eyes uncrossed. Tonny was thrilled. Several months pass and again he sees the eyes cross.




He says to himself, "I better call the vet. No, wait a minute. Last time I called the vet, he charged me 1000 bucks for something that only took a few moments. I will do it myself."
He went to the barn and called his trusty farm hand, Tenny.
"Tenny, we have a problem here and this is what I want you to do. I will put this straw in the rear of my bull and blow. You watch his eyes, and when they uncross, tell me and I will stop blowing."
Tonny started blowing and blowing and nothing happened.
Finally, he said, "You know, maybe I am not strong enough. Lets trade positions and you blow and I will watch."
Tenny went over to the bull, pulled out the straw, turned it around and reinserted it.
"What the hell are you doing, Tenny?" says Tonny.
"What do you think? I ain't blowing on the same end that you did!"


SHARING = CARING

If you like the above content.
If you care for your friendz then share it.
Love Care Share 
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because sharing = caring.